Well folks this will be my very last post. I have a bit of bad news for ya. I don't know what to say. Its been a long 8 years. Lot's of good times and some bad. Unfortunately as much as it hurts to say this on these pages, I finalized my divorce from Terry and was approved August 30, 2018. My choice, as I had no other choice but to leave Terry. Some of thee reasons are below.
Terry and I see one another from a different perspective. Oh my God did Terry change since she moved here to the United Stated. Unfortunately it is very true on what happens when a foreigner moves to the United States. Specifically a young lady from the PH. For instance, when Terry lived in the PH she would tie her pocketbook up with string to keep it together and would refuse to let me buy her a new pocketbook when she lived n the PH. She would say "I'm filapina and I don't need a new pocketbook this one is fine but thank you for the offer". Now almost 3 years later living in the United States, Terry has purchased 22 pocketbooks, but could not afford shoes for her kids to go to school in the PH ( I called the kids and took care of the kids needs above what Terry could pay ), but instead Terry had gold on layaway at a pawn shop here in the US. How could gold be more important to her than shoes for her kids? Ya....................I don't understand eather. In addition to this, Terry did not come home at night one time when she went out with her friends, Terry would not call to even let me know if she was ok. I would later find out she was talking to man that told her he was a Pastor and would give her marital advice, but in fact he was a preditor, a convicted pedophile and was incarcerated in 2012 and let out f prison in 2017 for sexually assaulting a child with force and fear. Yep she was talking to this man for 7 weeks behind my back. Her life was in danger. She would call him a 5am when I was sleeping. She would call him when I dropped her off to work and would call him during her brakes and lunch at work and call him right before I picked her up from work. Yes you are sitting there going " WOW what was she thinking". Well I have no idea. Terry would yell at me because I wanted to help with the kids privet school. I asked 7 days in a row, 14 times total for a request for the yearly school budget for the kids. We do this EVERY year. However this year I got yelled at for trying to help and give her money for the kids because she was to lazy to take care of the budget. Terry would go out and get drunk and spend mony on dinners with her friends, but took no time to do a budget for me and her kids. Yes things were getting real bad at this point. Terry would making up new rules that I'm not allowed to talk on my cell phone when we are together. Terry even made a new rule AFTER we go married that we can no longer kiss on the lips. Oh ya, this is the kind of stuff that started to unfold AFTER we got married. And the list go's on an on about her trying to turn me into her father or ex-husband.
Well I was not going to let some one change me into something I am not. I'm a giving person and very nice, but she would take my kindness as a weakness. That was her biggest mistake in our relationship and for most people with me as well. Her second biggest mistake was not communicating with me at all. ZERO communication!!! I love who I am and I'm a giver. Terry was mostly a taker when it came to her marriage, but definitely a giver only to her family and friends, but not much giving to her husband and marriage. I used to be her biggest fan until Terry changed.
I was a great husband, provider, lover and mentor of life to Terry. Terry however is nothing like she was on the pages you read here AFTER we were married. I fell in-love with what I was told by Terry all those years, and in the end she would not clean, cook, grocery shop, Terry would not make an effort to go to counseling at the end, would not and refuse to communicate with me, or to apologize about the things that were destructive to me, my family, her self, and to her family.
I loved loving my wife. I really did. But she did not love me the same, or really ever appreciate my accomplishments as a person or a man for that matter. Unfortunately after asking her open ended questions about her and her family on a weekly basis as I truly wanted to know how the person I love is feeling and if her family is doing well, she would never if rarely ask me the same questions of how I was doing, or my friends or family was dong. It's like she could care less about me and my feelings.
I guess the best way to put it was like this. Those that you know hug you because YOU need a hug. Terry NEVER hugged me because I needed a hug, she would give me a hug because she needed one. It was always the Terry festival. A one way street. All encompass, all about Terry, and Terry's feelings> she would however take the one thing I may have done wrong that day and concentrate souly on that. She was a very good communicator when it came to what she wanted with her actions and some words but it was not for the benefit of our marriage it had to do more with her going out with her friends and getting drunk and not coming home and so on. Terry used to point out all the great things I did or would do when she was in the PH. But after moving too the US she would rarely if ever point out the good and what I offer in our relationship. Yes I take some accountability. But after spending $250,000 to get her annulment approved and 17 trips to the PH and 1000's of skype calls to the PH over those 5 years and all the time Terry would say "my number one goal is to take care of you", in the end she would not lift a finger around the house or cook me eggs. Terry would not have a deep desire to even make an effort in our relationship. It was just disappointing all around. Terry works 2 to 3 jobs to make money to solely to take care of her family. She will work her self to death for her family. But she would not lift a finger to save our marriage or firendship. I just don't get it!!!!! I was her world befor she moved to the US, and no that she is here in the US....................I'm nothing to her!!! And I know this to be true because she gave up trying to keep us together as a family soon after we were married.
So who was paying for everything you ask? Bills, vacations, car payments, trips for Terry 3 times to the PH and spending money for the PH, Dinners out, lunch out, breakfast out, movies, entertainment, gifts, household upkeep and you all know the cost of living these days. Even her I-Phone and bill. I paid. And lets nt forget supporting her and most of her family for 5 years. I also drove her to work and picked her up 85% of the time from work. I gave her the entire me, and Terry in the end could have cared less about me. That's how I feel, and that's what I felt, and that is what I got out of this in the end.Terry could care less about our marriage and me. She has her green card, who needs me any more!
I apologize to every one reading this. That includes Terry, her family and kids Jenna Rha and Princess. I never wanted things to turn out this way. I married Terry and wanted to have a family. But not under the circumstances and actions Terry was doing. I had to leave her, I had no choice.
**** Note to Jenna Rha and Princess. I love you both very much. You both are excellent kids. I hope you know that. Your both excellent students. Your mom and I splitting up had nothing to do with you both. I hope you continue down a very bright future and follow you hart in life. Your Mom loves you both very much and works very had to make sher you have the very best she can offer as I did for you both for many years. Please forgive me. I want you to know I loved loving your mom. Deep inside she is a good woman, and again, you Mom will do any thing she can to provide for you. Please stay wonderful, loving, and happy in your life. Life is short, enjoy it. I love you both very very very much and I'm sorry. I hope you find in your hart to forgive me and know that I did my very best to save your mom and my marriage. I cant do all the work, a marriage takes 2 people. It's a partnership and communication is the key to all successful relationships.
Christopher - The man that moved mountains for you, and did it because I loved you Terry :0)
